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Three men approach the gates of heaven, only to find a very stressed-looking St. Peter
He looks at the approaching men and wipes his brow and says, "Hey boys, you made it! Unfortunately, we've had a heck of a day and are barely keeping up- we're just about at max capacity for the day. I really only have room for one of you. Why don't you each tell me how you ended up here, and I'll decide who's most deserving?"
The first man steps up.
"Tell me what you think about this. I'm a humble man, worked hard all my life, and have been completely faithful and devoted to my wife of 5 years. I've given everything she's ever wanted. But I was starting to get the sneaking feeling that she might be cheating on me. So today, I left for work as usual, but instead I drove around the block a few times, only to find another car in my parking spot.
"So I went back into the apartment only to find my wife, looking terrified, and dressed in her sexiest lingerie. This told me everything I needed to know, and it set me off. I started tearing around the apartment yelling 'WHERE IS HE!?' - As I looked out to the balcony, I saw a pair of hands hanging from the deck. In a fit of pure rage I went out there and started stomping on the guy's fingers. He fell off the deck but I could see he was still alive. Something animalistic took over me and I went looking for the heaviest thing I could find. In a superhuman feat of pure anger I picked up the fridge and threw it out the window, onto the guy. When I came to and realized what horrible thing I'd done, I went into shock and died right there on the spot."
St. Peter looks amazed and tells the first guy, "Good lord, man. That's quite a story." He takes a deep breath and turns to the second guy. "What about you?"
The second man sighs and says:
"I'm just an innocent window washer. I was out working on the side of a building, washing some windows, when my harness suddenly snapped and I started falling! I managed to just barely grab the side of a balcony, when all of a sudden some CRAZY guy comes and out of nowhere, just starts stomping on my fingers!! Of course I let go of the balcony, but thankfully I was only a couple of stories up at this point, so I landed on my back and thought I might be okay. But THEN, that nut job comes over and throws a whole damn fridge on me!! I don't know what I did to deserve this fate! But here I am all the same."
St. Peter looks aghast at this second man, and then the first, and turns to the third man, who at this point is seeming a little embarrassed. He says "And you?"
The third man shuffles his feet and smiles a sheepish smile and says,
"Uh, I was in the fridge."😂🤣🤣🤣